Everyone Loves Dave Barry
A couple weeks ago I learned that Dave Barry was "taking a break" at the end of the year. This is almost worse than Bush winning the election. Tragic news; I will mourn this loss every Sunday morning after I finish reading the comics and turn to the Opinions page where there will be a depressing lack of Barry-esque humor.
But anyway, I was going to comment on this week's column. When we went to China, the toilets really were holes in the ground (or, when we were on a small boat, a hole in the boat bottom). Sometimes, in the nicer places, the toilet was a porcelain hole in the ground, and occasionally even had water running through it. Most of the time the toilets were separated only by a two-foot tall wall with no door, and that was the most privacy you got. But, in Beijing we went to the McDonald's (the one and only time we ate Western food [except in Hong Kong where we had fish and chips and bread pudding at a British pub], at what I believe was the biggest McDonald's in the world), where we used the bathroom. They actually had (prepare yourselves!) western style toilettes! However, we were unable to enjoy this luxury, because luxury it was and most people did not understand how to use it. I am not making this up (teehee- really, I'm not)... the toilet seats were scratched to shit and covered with dirt because people didn't understand that you were supposed to sit on them, and instead squatted on the toilet seat. So we were forced to perform "the hover." But at least they had toilet paper here.
Just wanted to make sure you all read this week's Dave Barry, because I was seriously laughing out loud for minutes on end. That man is fucking hilarious!
Hmm. I was going to go to bed at nine tonight. So much for that. I suppose I should go take a shower so I can get to bed by eleven. Ugh, early morning tomorrow (as is every morning).
But anyway, I was going to comment on this week's column. When we went to China, the toilets really were holes in the ground (or, when we were on a small boat, a hole in the boat bottom). Sometimes, in the nicer places, the toilet was a porcelain hole in the ground, and occasionally even had water running through it. Most of the time the toilets were separated only by a two-foot tall wall with no door, and that was the most privacy you got. But, in Beijing we went to the McDonald's (the one and only time we ate Western food [except in Hong Kong where we had fish and chips and bread pudding at a British pub], at what I believe was the biggest McDonald's in the world), where we used the bathroom. They actually had (prepare yourselves!) western style toilettes! However, we were unable to enjoy this luxury, because luxury it was and most people did not understand how to use it. I am not making this up (teehee- really, I'm not)... the toilet seats were scratched to shit and covered with dirt because people didn't understand that you were supposed to sit on them, and instead squatted on the toilet seat. So we were forced to perform "the hover." But at least they had toilet paper here.
Just wanted to make sure you all read this week's Dave Barry, because I was seriously laughing out loud for minutes on end. That man is fucking hilarious!
Hmm. I was going to go to bed at nine tonight. So much for that. I suppose I should go take a shower so I can get to bed by eleven. Ugh, early morning tomorrow (as is every morning).
posted by Emma at 8:38:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home